Another, perhaps better title for this blog would be
Spiritual Battles are Won in the Spirit…Even if They Look Like Physical Battles
Here are some entries that I made in my journal… only over the course of today. They tell a story of God’s compassion, love, and about what a good Father he is. But I do not want you to think that God is only a God that works personally and helps individuals. God’s plan is bigger than just me and my life. He is working globally, and eternally. So as you read about my life here on this blog, remember that I am only one part in his salvation story, one drop in the sweeping rains that are pouring down from heaven in our time. Pray for the world. Pray for God’s kingdom to come.
I am warning you: These journal entries are brutally honest. I will sound weak– and that is okay, because I am. I want to be open with you because you need to know that missionaries are not this glorified human in Adventureland for Jesus somewhere. Being away from home is hard.
- Please pray for me to take up my cross and follow God, no matter the cost.
- Please pray for The Aroma Church and the missionaries that have come through Envision, which is the Christian and Missionary Alliance’s (C&MA–it’s a denomination) ministry to millennials. Many people need good discipleship and guidance when they start, and while they continue, their lives as Christians.
- Please pray that you would also look more toward the global and eternal movement of God’s plan of love than to only your own needs and only this time. God helps us, yes. But God is doing so much more than individually helping each Christian.
Journal Entry 1: Sunday, 9-27-15, Morning
God, help me to enjoy the challenge of teaching.
Please, would you give me a hug?
Would you give me someone who will take me in and care for me?
I want(ed) this to be an adventure, God, but to me it feels more like torture.
I feel like a little girl. And I’m scared I won’t have time to plan lessons or that I won’t explain things well, but I forget that I don’t need to worry and that it’s okay to rest. I can hardly let myself rest– even though I have a long weekend and today is only Sunday! !!
I need someone to say my name. Jesus, can you call my name? Can you comfort me? Can you lift me up out of this hole?
You have delivered me from the depths
from the realms of the dead.
Journal Entry 2: Sunday, 9-27-15, Afternoon
God sent me a hug.
Caleb came and said, “Can I give you a hug? You look like you need a hug.” (I came to The Aroma. Worship practice is happening.)
And Sarah just said she’s going to schedule me for a Sunday in October because Chris and Sarah will be gone [meaning I get to join in making music for Jesus, and get to play music!!! Yay!]
[This is not in my journal, but a friend named Sandra also asked me to play piano for her and another guy who are doing the Music Night in October, so I get to play more music!]
Around 11, Joanna and I video chatted on LINE and she’s going to send me a care package! 🙂
She prayed for me, encouraged me, and gave me the tough love I need. I am so thankful for her. Thank you God for your precious gift to me of her friendship. I remember praying for her to be my friend in freshman year at Crown. And then we met for meals every week… and now she is my greatest friend. I hope I can see her again soon.
Also, I got to see Sam! We video chatted just before he went to bed. Father, please give him a bed. Protect your name. Show him your faithfulness. Why would you not? Please do it, if only for me, in Jesus’ name. Amen
Thank you for loving me. I love you, daddy.
Journal Entry 3: Sunday, 9-27-15, 8:21 pm
I was feeling exhausted tonight and just heavy-laden and anxious. I just wanted to sleep, but I knew that I needed to stay and go to church. I was resting before church downstairs after eating with Eva and Sandra (2 good friends from The Aroma Church), and just not doing good. Sandra asked if they pray for me, and Nancy and Van and Howard were also there. They all gathered around and listened to me– I told them I felt this is a spiritual attack.
They prayed in power and I could feel God’s Spirit. Sandra said during worship band small group (after the practice–so 4- 5:30) that she had seen a picture of a red bell– that when someone needs help they can come and press that and an alarm will sound and help will come. –She said that we are (those who prayed) pressing that bell, and we know you will come to our rescue.
I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME.
If God is for us, who can be against us??
I walk by faith
each step by faith
to live by faith
I put my trust in You!
Every prayer I pray
Is a prayer of faith
And if my God is for me,
Tell me, who can be against me?
- Pray that I would keep this mindset. It has been fluctuating back and forth, as things happen. But the promise of Christ’s is that we would have his peace through any and every circumstance. Pray that God would continue to gift me with peace, and that I would in turn, trust in Him completely to be my help.
When they prayed for me, I felt COMPLETELY different. Beforehand I was exhausted, tired, worn out… how many words can I use to convey the fact that I was ready to sleep for three days, and worried about the next two weeks?
But afterwards, I felt awake, alive, ready and excited for church! What a difference! Later, Howard said to me, “Hey, you are not acting like a sick person at all!” And it is true. I feel 10 times better. Instead of the body-ache type of sickly tired, I feel just like I have had a day and it is getting close to bed time.
So, the devil was definitely coming against me this weekend. It has been a long, tear-filled time, but now I know that not all was as it seemed. It is not just me feeling bad, but me experiencing attack. But as we sang in church, appropriately for me, “There is power in the Name of Jesus to break every chain,” those chains fell off tonight.
Also, God reminded me to put His kingdom first, and not just think about me. I cannot keep my eyes down; I have to look around. God is not only my personal helper, but the salvation worker of the world, who wants me to be a part in making that happen. So pray for that, please.
Here are some more pictures from the week…
It is Moon Festival, so for some reason BBQs are a big thing right now. Here’s one outside on the street that some nice people let me photograph.
We also had our own little Aroma BBQ at Caleb and Miki’s house. It felt like going home. 🙂
Keep the Faith!